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Adventures in China4月24日 It's All Fun and Games Until Someone Gets Hurt
| It's all fun and games - until someone gets hurt... Primary school, grade 4. A kid in my class playing with something. Showing it to his friend who holds it to her ear. Let me have a look. Huh? That's a LIVE ROUND OF AMMO you've got there, kiddo. I'm a fairly liberal guy. I'll let kids keep pretty much anything. I NEVER confiscate food, 'phones or things like that. But this put me in a bit of a bind. I was holding a dangerous and potentially lethal device; I had a clear duty of care to the student and despite his teary eyes I simply couldn't give it back to him. He was increasingly sullen throughout the lesson as he came to realise that he wasn't going to be getting it back. However, asked to wait at the end of the lesson while I went and fetched a Chinese teacher, the kid buggered off pretty darned quick. Comments that followed : - Maybe it is just a toy; - Maybe it is just a blank; - Without a gun it's harmless; - I think maybe we will give it back to him; - We'll put it in a draw where it'll be safe; - Well maybe we'll just hang onto it in the office; - We'll be sure to get rid of it safely. We'll flush it down the toilet; - Ok, we'll throw it in the river.... Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I am at a loss. I have been around firearms for more than fourteen years now. I have a Firearms Certificate in the UK and I am a qualified Range Officer. I have competed internationally for England and the UK and have captained many teams over the years. I know a little something about firearms and ammunition and I must say I am not at all happy with the way this was handled. Unfortunately, I could only be so forceful in my opinions on the matter without causing some serious loss of face to the Chinese staff whose responsibility it is to deal with this sort of incident professionally. With a grand total of ZERO knowledge between them in this field, they failed to appreciate the seriousness of the situation and made concessions on the matter of disposal only with the greatest of reluctance (absolutely refusing my offer to just quietly slip it to a policeman friend, no questions asked). It is the only incident of its kind that I know of or about which I have any cause for complaint or concern. Generally I have been inclined to think that my perenially whining colleague is always over-stating the problems he encounters when up against the matter of "face". This incident has shown me, however, that when there is face to be lost, even otherwise intelligent people are bound to be difficult to negotiate with. They won't say "no" directly (and may even say "yes") but they'll always suggest an alternative strategy to the emminently sensible one that you are proposing. Their actual intentions probably lie in yet another direction. It's a tricky job making sure you don't say "yeah, ok, do that then" too soon. You really have to get them to repeatedly promise a specific course of action (and preferably see them on the road to taking that action, with all potential barriers removed and all necessary help provided) before leaving it in their hands. Otherwise the next day it'll be "yes, well we were GOING to do that but then we thought maybe we should just do this instead. What? What's the problem?". 3月31日 Guangzhou - what a shockSo here's the thing, as a westerner in Huizhou I'm not unique but am rather unusual. And I like that. I'm really in China; living amongst Chinese people who can't speak English and who have probably never seen more than half a dozen Westerners in their lives pass through this city.
I have Chinese friends (or, rather, drinking companions) and I am known wherever I go. I get a friendly greeting and warm welcome all over town as this is my town, too. I'm a bit of a local. I know the people, they know me. We've stayed up 'till dawn talking, drinking and eating. They've taken me to their favourite restaurants, to meet their friends, their families; to hang out with them. I speak with a local accent and use the local slang.
When I go into a shop or a bar and see another Westerner there I can't help but feel uncomfortable. Is he better at Chinese than I? Is he more of a local than I? Has he a larger group of close local friends? Is he more charming? A faster learner? Richer? Is he going to steal my drinking partners? My friends?
'There was a Westerner there. Why didn't you say "hello"?' complain my colleagues. 'Very rude', they add. What? Why on Earth SHOULD I say "hello"? I am no more connected to some random foreigner than I am to the locals. Indeed, I think it entirely reasonable to consider that I am, in fact, far less-well connected to the Americans, Germans and Autstralians who can be found here, than I am to my 'real' local community; the people whom I came here to meet.
And then there's Guangzhou.
Not a bad city, I suppose. The taxi drivers and touts at the bus station try to rip you off, of course, but they do that in Huizhou, too. Only, in Guangzhou a lot of people speak English. There are Western shops everywhere. Myriad Westerners can be seen walking down the streets. Also, compared to Huizhou, Guangdong really is the Big City. Having worked in London for several years, I admit that I had found Huizhou to be a bit small, but the shock of going by bus from a place like Huizhou to a place like Guangzhou was almost overwhelming. I really felt like a country bumpkin come to the City for the very first time.
I was entirely prepared to use my not too shabby Chinese to ask the way to the Consulate when my larger-than-life, no-nonsense companion just walked up to a random Chinaman and asked straight out in English. He got a reply in perfect English but somehow I was no less annoyed by this approach to the problem. 'I was going to ask in Chinese', I protested, 'Tom!' he excalimed, 'EVERYONE here speaks English. There's NO point fannying around.'. And that was it. He's a big lad, my companion. The sort that likes to wear trainers and tracksuit bottoms to work. Who dons a replica football shirt to watch the game. Who swigs lager out of the bottle. Whose idea of a haircut is a number two all over. A clever enough man from an ordinary working-class family, who has benefitted from an excellent education and who knows all the rules of the language but refuses to apply them on the grounds that 'that's not the way people speak'. Well, it's the way I speak and I think that if more of those in the know set a better example, youngsters would grow up speaking better English.
Anyway, I digress.
Guangzhou.
A polluted and grimy city. I was immeditately on the defensive. At the Consulate I happened upon the Vice Consul talking to some Chinese businessmen. He was speaking quite fluent Chinese but with a very strong Upper-middle class Surrey accent - certainly paying no attention to tones. I got the impression that he didn't know many ordinary Chinese people and had learned his Chinese almost entirely through the Foreign Office in London. At once I envied him his level of Chinese and also felt a little superior as I had an accent, used slang and knew 'real' Chinese.
I couldn't fault the embassy staff. Quick and efficient, my passport was returned along with my new passport in just SIX days. The web site had suggested that the process would take twelve days so I was very happy indeed.
I didn't stay long in Guangzhou. Grabbed a bite to eat then straight home to Huizhou on the first available bus.
Home, Sweet Home. 3月8日 Another Year in HuizhouI start my log in my second year in China. I am, to bring readers
up-to-date, living and working in Huizhou, a small city in Guangdong
Province, Southern China. It's a strange but rewarding life. So much of what you hear in the West about this place simply isn't true, or else is greatly distorted or exagerated. China is, in reality, a country whose political and social changes are as important and dynamic as her rapidly-blooming economy. China doesn't pretend to be the world's greatest democracy or to be truly ruled by the people. Instead it postulates a measured and seemingly intelligent approach of controlled development, guided by the rational addressing of the people's best interests. Although (or maybe because) I studied Politics to Masters level, I am distinctly apolitical. I have no intention of making this a platform for any Cause or point of view. Whatever you think of one regime vs another is a matter of personal opinion which doesn't interest me remotely. I just hope that any attitude formed (particularly if it is a passionately-held belief) is reached by, if not first-hand experience then at least the most thorough attempts at balanced research. |
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